I want this blog to suck. I feel like I’m rusty, so I’m just trying to get all the suck out of me right now so hopefully one day soon I can break out of the suck cycle and get back into the green.
I was just reading some of my old blogs, and my main takeaway is that I might not need to make this one suck on purpose.
Sure, there were some good jokes in there, but for the most part it seemed like I was the guy at the party who needed to make a joke about everything and each one was cornier than the last.
The main point in writing this is just to write something. Coming up, I am facing a stretch of time where I will have no responsibilities. I only have a few classes left and a couple more finals to complete, so by the end of the week it should just be me, a TV screen, a notebook, a laptop, some chili cheese fries, and hopefully a whole bunch of ideas to start making content.
I had a stretch in October where I was doing a daily podcast and it felt great. I put a lot of work into it, but like everything I seem to start, for one reason or another, it ended. And the more time that passes without me doing anything it feels like I am going to make nothing out of myself and not achieve my dream.
It feels like as long as I put something out there, then at least that is a step in the right direction. I see so many people online writing all different types of blogs every hour, and it makes me feel like I need to do the same thing to compete. I don’t want to just write for the sake of writing, but at the same time you can’t just do nothing and hope that everything comes falling into your lap.
The main thing I’ve been trying to settle on is what I should write about or talk about when I go back to making content again. I consume so much information and I like so many things that I get this pressure to try to cover it all. I feel like if I watch one game or read one article about something that all of a sudden I need to be an expert on the topic, or at least memorize the information in case it would be valuable later. I keep those notes for every major sport, and every time I see any piece of information I get this instinct that everything needs to be recorded or jotted down just because it happened. For whatever reason, I struggle with deciding what’s important enough to warrant putting in my notes and what can just be ignored. That balance is something I have been working to achieve for a long time now. Sometimes I am locked in a zone, like when I am watching a game and I am 100 percent confident that I am getting every vital piece of information and that if I had to talk about it or write about it than I would ace that assignment. But then the next day, like yesterday with college football, I’ll put so many games on my plate that I get overwhelmed and I feel like I failed myself just because I wasn’t able to keep track of every single games that I know was going on. And I know that’s wrong, yet it’s so hard to put a cap on because there are so many things that I could be doing that eventually it feels like you needto be doing everything at once. Like everything because yor number one priority at the same time. I think it’s just about taking a step back, trying not to overthink, and realizing that what you want to do and which games you want to watch and what stuff you want to talk about is pretty obvious, actually. Don’t change anything radically, just do the same things you’ve already developed to ths point and make slight modifications if they make sense. In terms of writing, that might take a little forcefulness to get the ball rolling, but it’s not like you haven’t done it before. Like you said, this blog sucks and it’s already gotten way out of control and so vague that no one will understand it but you. You started off with small paragraphs and now you have this one that might never end. It’s still going, look at that.
Oops, it ended. I don’t know if trying to write something on here every day makes sense since I’ve tried it in the past and it hasn’t worked out, but there really is no excuse during winter break. I am going to have nothing going on, so it will be time to hunker down, watch some sports, and make content about them. I don’t know exactly how that is going to work, whether I am going to write or do a podcast, but all I know is that I’m going to do something, it’s probably going to suck at first, but over time I will whiddle it down into something that I enjoy doing and makes sense for an audience to consume. The Sisteenth Chapel started as just a couple buckets of paint and a wooden building (maybe not but I had to make it sound inspirational). I did it last summer, I did it in October, there are people who are a lot less talented than me doing it for a job right now, they just have more experience and do it more consistently. Well, you are facing nearly two months where you will have nothing to do other than practice what you want to do for a career. Develop your talent now. Set your potential routine now. Figure out strategies to produce things more consistently. This is an opportunity. Will you capture it, or will you let it slip?
CHILL YOURSELF DYLAN WOODS 